The Eyes Have It
by Touch of Grey
Summary: Eddie and Jaime are bored. Cheap stereotype humor, pissed-off tech support, and blackmail hijinks ensue. OC alert!


Summary: Okay, so maybe turning the Teen Titans into a less offensive Minoriteam may not have been such a hot idea after all...Aka, Ko finally becomes a Titan!

It had been a relatively crime-free Saturday afternoon at Titans Tower. They'd dealt with a bank robbery earlier that morning, but it seemed that all the supervillians in their neck of the woods were taking a breather that day. So the team had headed back to the Tower and gone their separate ways. Robin went to be...Battish and broody somewhere else, and Cassie had flown off to see Kara. That left Blue Beetle and Red Devil up to their own devices. This would later be deemed a Very Bad Idea.

The question had seemingly come out of thin air while Jaime channel surfed and Eddie read a magazine he'd found lying on their coffee table.

"So, uh, who's the Asian chick sitting at the computer?"

Eddie glanced in the direction Jaime was pointing in, grinning slightly. "Oh, that's our new tech support. Her name is Ko." Blue Beetle narrowed his eyes.

"You guys replaced Marvin and Wendy already?! That seems cold, man. And I'm talking _Batman_ cold, here. So, where'd she come from?" Eddie had turned his attention back to his gaming magazine, but he still replied.

"Ko originally tried out to be a Titan after the Crisis, but she didn't make the cut. Mainly because her dad's eight foot tall, purple-suited killer _Amazon bodyguard_ hauled her back home before she really got a chance to try out for-"

"Eight foot tall Amazon bodyguard?! Mind backtracking a bit, man? Who _is_ this chick, exactly?" Eddie sighed, putting his magazine down.

"Her dad is a big mover and shaker in Korea. Whatever it is he does has made him richer than six Oprahs and Lex Luthor put together. On his off days, he likes to leave his daughter at archaeological digs to poke around. One day, she found a magical wishing flute, became a superhero, ran away from home to join the Titans, was brought back by Crazy Giant Lady Whose Name I Don't Know, where her dad stole the flute from her. She became a hacker, and now she's our tech support. That answer all your questions?" Jaime raised his hand. "Yeah?"

"So she's Korean? Because honestly, that girl looks so stereotypically Japanese, all she needs is the sailor suit and the sword and she's _there._" Eddie stared at him a moment, then burst out laughing. "No, I'm serious! That girl looks so Japanese, she probably craps sushi! Is her dad Mr. Miyagi? Because wax on, wax _off_!" Red Devil's shoulders shook with his barely-contained hysteria.

"Sh-shut up, man. Just, shut _up_. And I never said that Ko was Korean, I just said she lived in Korea. There's a major difference." But Beetle wasn't planning on letting it go any time soon.

"I knew it! It's the eyes. Do we have an official Titans Asian Eye Chart, or something? I bet Robin has one. Batman probably fights ninjas all the time, then whips out his handy-dandy eye chart to tell what clan they come from." Eddie cracked up again, falling off the couch completely and smacking his head on the coffee table.

"Y-you're evil, man. Pure evil. And if we're going to be talking cheap stereotypes, may I get you a sombrero, senor?" Beetle laughed, nudging Eddie in the stomach with his foot.

"This is coming from the guy who could play stunt double for Richard Simmons' next video- 'Sweatin' to the Oldies in Hell'." Eddie opened his mouth to reply, when there was a sudden shrill whistle and he found said orifice filled with jello.

"I'm trying to work here, you freaking racists! Now shut up before I make you wrestle for my amusement!" Ko's hair flopped out of it's messy bun, right over her angry almond-shaped eyes. "I've got enough blackmail on you, Impling, to fill the 'net twice over." Red Devil's face darkened in color, and he yelped Ko's name. She just grinned sadistically, turning on Jaime. "And while I don't have anything on you _yet_, boyo, it's just a matter of time. If I could find dirt on Saint Cassie the Wonder, I'll be ten times damned if I can't find anything on _you_."

Seeing that neither teen was going to respond to her threats, Ko turned back to the computer, a satisfied smile adorning her face. Jaime nudged Eddie, who was still lying on the floor, both hands covering his face.

"What's she got on you?" The tips of his ears turned redder.

"Nothin'" Eddie mumbled.

"It have anything to do with the word 'Impling'?" Eddie groaned, rolling so that his now smouldering face was pressed into the living room carpet.

"I hate you _so much_, Kodako Takabe!" he groaned again, words slightly muffled by the floor. Ko just grinned.

"Love ya too, babycakes!"

Fini

I can't remember if I already posted the fic where Ravager and Ko find Eddie and Zat's letters to each other (where the nickname is used with almost embarrassing regularity), but that's where Impling comes from. I wonder what disc I put that file on, because I'm pretty sure I _meant_ to post it ages ago...Eddie and Jaime's banter comes from a conversation my friend Crispy and I had while people-watching at last weekend's anime convention. The line about crapping sushi is hers, as is the Karate Kid reference, but the Titans Asian Eye Chart is, regrettably, mine. I apologize profusely to anyone who may find the idea of such a thing offensive, but get over it. It was damn funny when I first wrote it and if you can't laugh at yourself, then don't bother laughing at me. Peace be with you, and leave a review!


End file.
